Carer wellbeing check-in

When you are caring for someone, it is easy for your own needs to end up at the bottom of the list. That is not a failing — it is what happens when one person’s needs are louder than everyone else’s.

Looking after yourself is not a reward for finishing the caring. It is part of being able to keep going. A carer who is running on empty has less to give, and feels worse doing it.

One useful habit is to notice how your week actually went, rather than letting the weeks blur together. The check-in on this page takes about a minute and keeps a private record for you.

Respite is the word used for taking a break from caring. It does not have to mean days away — it can be a few hours, a morning a week, or someone coming in so you can sleep.

Carer Gateway is the Australian Government service set up for this. You can call them on 1800 422 737, Monday to Friday, 8am to 5pm, and select option 1 to speak with your local service provider. They will talk through what is available in your area and help arrange it.

Many carers put off asking because they assume there is nothing available, or that it is only for emergencies. It is worth asking anyway — respite is there to be used, and planning it before you are desperate makes it much easier.

Asking for help is one of the hardest parts. It is also the thing that changes the most.

Be specific rather than general. "Let me know if you need anything" rarely turns into help. "Could you sit with Mum on Thursday morning so I can go to the dentist?" usually does.

Keep a short list of what would actually help — an hour of company, a meal, a lift, someone to sit in on an appointment — so when someone offers, you have an answer ready.

Carer Gateway can also connect you with a local carer support group, where the people around you have already worked out what helps.

Carers put off their own appointments more than almost anything else. There is never a good week for it, so it never gets booked.

If something of your own is waiting — a check-up, a script, a niggling thing you have been ignoring — write it down and book it, even if the date is weeks away. A booking is much harder to keep postponing than an intention.

If getting there is the problem, say so out loud. Carer Gateway can help arrange cover so you can actually go, and your GP can often work around a carer’s schedule.

There is no line you have to cross before you are allowed to ask for more help. Reaching for support early usually means you need less of it later.

It is worth reaching out if the weeks are getting heavier rather than lighter, if you are not sleeping, if there is no one you can call on, or if you have been putting your own health off for a long time.

The support panel on this page has the numbers. Carer Gateway is the best starting point for practical help, respite and free counselling for carers. Lifeline on 13 11 14 is available any time, day or night, if you are feeling overwhelmed. And if someone is in danger right now, call 000.

You do not have to be at breaking point to deserve support.